Social Suicide

I needed a good veg-out night after an extremely stressful week.  It was a night fit for some wine, alone time and mindless tv.  I had found a lump in my breast, and after an ultrasound and mammogram, they decided I needed a biopsy.  I needed my mind to stop running through scenarios.

Saying I was down in the dumps, was an understatement.

I stayed home Friday night and  flipped through the channels until I came across the 2004 flick “Mean Girls”.  This seemed like the perfect movie for the end to a downright rotten week.

In the movie Damian (the funny sidekick to Janis) says, “You can’t join Mathletes, it’s social suicide!”

It really got me thinking about how silly and unfortunate worrying what people think of you is, yet it happens every single day in social settings, at work, at school…everywhere.

Not doing this or that because you are worried what people will think?  It’s simply preposterous, but we all do it at some point in our lives and some of us are serial offenders.

I was hook, lined and sinkered into worrying what people thought of me growing up.  It completely stressed me out to the point that at a school dance in Junior High I spent the entire dance in the girls restroom crying hysterically because one very popular girl who I thought to be my friend pulled a “mean girl” on me.  I can’t remember all of the details now, but I will NEVER forget how I felt.  I will also NEVER forget the dress I was wearing to that dance. The taffeta dress was kelly green and white with thick horizontal stripes and had a 50′s look to it. It had been strapless, against the school rules, so my mom had to add straps.   My shoes were white flats that had ribbons that tied up my ankles.  This was my very first school dance and I had been so excited.

Another memory I have was playing the violin in elementary school.  I had even been the only student in the class  awarded a scholarship to participate in a summer program between my 6th and 7th grade year.  After 6th grade I gave up the violin simply because  Junior High was starting and I didn’t want to be called a “nerd”.  This past unpleasant nickname today is considered sexy.  I gave up an instrument that I  so passionately loved and played for what?  An unpleasant nickname!

I hope that as a mom, I can give my girls the confidence to make the choices that are best for them and not what they think they should do to please others.  Life is way too short and one day you turn 37, go through some major life changing events and realize it’s time to live life to the fullest and be happy.

Photo credit:  Found this photo posted by one of my friends on Facebook.  No link was included to it’s original source.

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