New Orleans, Boobs and Lima Beans

I just got back from New Orleans after attending the Niche Mommy Conference.  It was a great conference held at The Roosevelt, where I met amazing women and ate delicious, authentic Louisiana food.  Most of the cuisine I tasted was food that I had never tasted before.  It was an all around great experience!

We escaped hurricane Isaac which I am grateful for.  I was so scared I would be stuck in New Orleans, in a hotel and that was not a pleasant thought.  Even though the Roosevelt was big and beautiful, I wanted to get home and sleep in my own bed.

I got home Sunday night after a long day of flying  and Monday morning woke up feeling miserable.  My body ached, my throat was on fire and I felt feverish.  Since I now go to the office every day, I called in sick deciding it would be better for me to stay in my pj’s and work from home.

I was on a call with my co-worker Randi who is also one of my dearest friends when I found the lump.  I am one to never sit around in pj’s, ever.  I get home from work and usually stay in my work clothes until it’s time to go to bed and on the weekends, I’m up and dressed every day.  I’m always wearing a bra, whether it’s underwire or sports.

That was why, when I felt my boob, I actually felt it and found a lump the size of a lima bean.

I immediately hung up with Randi and called the gynecologist’s office.  I had an appointment scheduled for September 13, but knew there was no way I could sanely wait until that appointment.  My nerves are already frazzled from the divorce, so this finding was the icing on the cake…this could push me over the edge.

The gynecologist’s office got me an appointment for Wednesday of the same week.  BTW, I must admit (hanging head low)  that it has been since March of 2010 since I’ve been to see a gynecologist and I NEVER do self breast exams.

After shedding a few tears while discussing my past with the ever so warm and friendly nurse, she left the room to allow me to undress.  The doctor came in and it was the first time meeting her.  I felt instant comfort by her professional yet warm nature and it was time to let her confirm or squash my findings.

She felt the lump right away and described it as being the size of a lima bean.  I was hoping I was incorrect in my findings, as anyone would be, but I also felt slightly comforted that I did in fact find something wrong with my body myself ,and that I found it NOW rather than when I ever got to the gynecologist’s office because my past record has been rather poor.

Today I go to get an ultrasound and a mammogram to find out what this lump is growing inside of my body.  My nerves and stress level are through the roof.  My life is flashing before my eyes…the good, the bad and the ugly.  I am thinking about what I should be doing, could be doing and what I should stop doing.  Everything is spinning through my head at what feels like warp speed, yet time seems to be moving at a snail’s pace.

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