Requesting Prayers Please

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I can never prepare myself enough for my monthly trip to Florida.  I haven’t shared this openly just yet, but I’m going through a divorce.  I live in Arkansas and my girls are in Florida with their dad and grandmother.  I fly to see them every month for about a week at a time.  It is by far the most emotionally trying thing I have ever experienced in my life, and I would not wish it upon anyone, ever.

About a week before I fly out I get stressed and a little depressed.  Knowing I have such a short period of time to spend with them I worry over what we will do each day.  I want to spend high quality time with them, so I stick to activities where we can talk, play and interact with each other.  I took them to see a movie once and decided it was a huge waste of quality time. That was the last time we saw a movie as an activity.

With the cancer scare just a week ago, getting paperwork prepared for my lawyer and getting ready for Bloggy Bootcamp Dallas, I didn’t have time or energy to be worried about what activities the girls and I would do.  I ended up planning the week on my plane trip out to Florida.

This trip was different.  They had a holiday day off school Monday, so I picked them up Sunday night.  Monday we bowled, swam, shopped a little and then ended the night at their favorite restaurant, Olive Garden.  The  thing that was different was having to take them home in the evening.  I usually have them an entire week without interruptions.  I did however get to keep my 3-year-old since she isn’t going to school yet.  She was thrilled to get to come back to the hotel with me.  She talked the entire ride back…I’ve never heard her talk SO much!

I’m lying here in the bed next to her, typing this post in the dark of the morning feeling really sad.  I miss having her warm little body next to me, so close that I can reach over to caress her hair or rub the warm skin on her arm.  I miss all three of them.  I have that happy/sad emotion going on in my heart and it sucks.  I’m grateful that in my line of work I can visit them each month, but being so far away is one of the hardest things a mother can experience.

My divorce mediation takes place later this week. I’m going to need lots of prayers on Thursday.  I need everyone to pray that we can reach some equitable and start moving toward a conclusion to this process. I’d hate for some judge, who doesn’t know or care about my girls, to make decisions on their lives.  I’m hoping the ex and I can agree on decisions that will affect their lives forever in positive ways.

Divorce is never easy, and this has been hard on everyone. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers this week. We can use all the help we can get.

Comments

  1. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be, Courtney. I wish I had some wise words of wisdom that could help, but I’ll just have to offer up my prayers instead.

  2. I feel you. Please call anytime. We’re kindred. *sending you much love and prayers*

  3. Lots and lots of prayers coming your way, Courtney. It’s such a challenge to balance being the mom, going through relationship issues, and still working to care for the family. I can imagine how you must feel pulled in so many directions, with your heart always centered on your girls.

  4. Absolutely sending every positive vibe I can muster your way, Courtney. I have been in the situation once of coming thisclose to living separately from my kids, and I know the agony a mom feels, despite that I was trying to do what I believed was best for them, even if it was to be only temporarily. A last-minute and unexpected life change for my ex turned things in my favor. Hoping for the same kind of karma for you!

  5. Sending prayers your way. Love you lady. xo

  6. That must be so hard. What a strong woman you are and you’re so lucky to be able to fly back and forth.

    I agree 100% that divorce is never easy. Never. My former husband (high school sweethearts) and I divorced when our son was 18 months old. He is now 13 and I am remarried with four additional children.

    My former husband and I have not been able to effectively communicate since the divorce. Everything must go through his current wife. You can image how messy that is. It is ugly and something I would never wish upon anyone.

    Soon after our son turned 12, in 2011, my former husband took me back to court to obtain custody with a sneaky emergency order. Never talked to me about it… nothing. He had planned it for years. Once our son was old enough to cooperate with his father and stepmother, it made their process pretty easy.

    Needless to day, a year ago my son went to live with his father and I have been left devastated. We were set up for a jury trial after almost a year of waiting for our trial date and constant harassment by them I just could not continue. I could not continue to put my son in the middle of a court system. I could not continue to watch them escalate their game and “up the Annie”- so to speak. You nailed it on the head- you never want to leave your child’s fate in the hands of the courts or judges. Never.

    This is the first time I have publicly talked about it. I have never disused it with my readers because frankly, I am still processing it all. This last year has been the hardest year of my life. I only share this with you because I can relate to some of what you’re going through and just know you’re not alone.

    I wish you all the best. It sounds like you and their father are level headed and understand the importance of you two making decisions for your girls. No one loves them like you do. It truly is a blessing that you two can be adults about this. I cannot say that with enough sincerity.

    I will be praying for your family. Enjoy your sweet time with your girls.

  7. You know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your girls! I know your heart is heavy but I feel positive this will allwork out for you. The girls belong with you and they need you as much as you need them.

  8. Sending lots of love and hugs and good thoughts your way Courtney. As someone who grew up with divorce and re-marriages etc- I can relate to the tug and pull between parents and how hard it can be. I’m here if you ever want to talk and have that virtual glass of wine. xoxox, Courtney

  9. Sending lots of prayers your way for you, your family, and your little girls!

  10. You know I’ve got your back, lady. Love and light and good thoughts headed your way.

  11. My heart goes out to you and your children. I will be praying for you all and hope that your heart is comforted during this difficult time.

  12. I know that NOTHING can compare to the thought of not having your children nearby. I mean, you have faced a lot of it, moving across the country, coming to Michigan, moving again, taking on a new job, cancer scar, but I’m sure this is the toughest. Prayers are being sent that you can find some peace in the difficult time and that a good outcome can from the mediation so you can move forward.

  13. You are in my thoughts all the time, Courtney. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and I hope you get the happy ending you deserve.

  14. Oh Courtney!! I can hear the heartache in your words. You have my love and support, and of course my prayers for Thursday.

  15. Oh, I can feel your heart ache jumping off this page. God bless you and yours. I can’t even being to think how I might deal with this situation. Stay strong!

  16. Courtney my heart aches for you, not being able to be near your kids is heart breaking. You are so strong to share this with us and with all our prayers and positive thoughts coming your way good things will surely happen. ~HUGS~ to you!!

  17. honey you never stopped being in my prayers ;)

    I know exactly what you are going through, I have never shared, but my oldest son was in the same predicament. In the end, the judge sent him with his father because he said my son needed a man in the house, and my husband was deployed too much. I know your anxiety, your feqrs, your hurt, like I have said it before Courtney, I’m here to talk or cry if you ever need me ;)

    Take it as a given that you and the babies are in my prayers ;)

  18. Jenn @therebelchick says:

    I’m so sorry, Courtney. I didn’t realize how little time you were able to spend with the girls. :( my heart goes out to you. I’ll be praying for you (and them) as you go into mediation tomorrow! xoxo

  19. Hi Courtney,
    This is my first visit to your blog. I can only imagine the pain and heartache you’re going through, and I’m sure it’s even worse than I can imagine. I’ve stopped and prayed for you and will continue to do so.

    Thank you for following me on Twitter…that’s how I found you here. :)

    In Christ,
    Laura

  20. I hope and pray that everything went well yesterday. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I do know how amazing you are, and how much you love your girls.

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